The BIGGEST risk of going after what you want
Updated: Feb 27
Stop trying to convince your family and friends of how amazing your interests and beliefs are.
I know how comforting it feels to have that support.
I know how good it feels when the people you love agree that: -Your spiritual view is the truth -The politician who annoys you is an idiot -That the way you eat is the best way to eat -That Paris Hilton is actually a genius (ps I love you Paris)
We want them to agree with us because there is an aspect in that person/idea/thing that represents something we feel that's inside of us.
If they reject what we are into, it can feel like they are rejecting us.
So when we start going after what we want, we will likely come up against people we love disagreeing or not approving totally of what we are doing or how we are doing it.
Perhaps it's subtle, like questioning that feels like you are being pulled down, or perhaps it's a quick change of the topic by them. By you get the message loud and clear, they don't agree.
And if they don't agree?
What's the big deal?
Why are we so obsessed with having our loved ones in agreement with our core beliefs? And just our loved ones but even people we don't even like? Why are we so obsessed with others being in agreement with us?
Well, I believe that many of us are afraid (at a subconscious level) that if people do not agree with us then we will be alone, let me explain:
As a child what happened at school or at home when saw that another child did something 'bad' or even differently? They got sent to their room ALONE, sent to the corner of the class ALONE, their friends wouldn't play with them and they were ALONE. Was this you?
I was so afraid of being 'bad' as a child, I would do everything I could to be a 'good girl' so I didn't often have this experience myself but I saw it and my subconscious noted it.
If we become someone people don't 'agree' with our subconscious believes that our family, friends, colleagues will no longer want to hang out with us, listen to us, or include us.
We will be eating tuna out of the can with our cat for Christmas lunch. We will have no one to call when we are sick. We won't have anyone to share a sunset with. No one at work will listen to our great ideas or ask for our help.
I know this because this was a belief inside of me.
If I express my interests and beliefs I'll be seen as silly, even crazy and I won't be respected. If I'm perceived like this I will be alone.
Wooo what a big one.
This can be reflective when we really want something, and we go after it teeth and nails in the material world, but we never quite get it.
We make a little bit of money, but not rolling in it.
We get a few great clients, but don't have them knocking down our door.
We get a small audience, but not quite super fans.
We get a little healthier and a little leaner, but never quite get the toned and vibrant body we really want.
It's often because the subconscious is there saying 'if you do things differently from how the people around you do it, you will be ostracised, you will have no one, you will be alone' so don't make too much money, don't get too fit, don't eat to well, don't get too much attention.
So how did I shift it? I found expanders. I found people who might seem a little 'woo woo' to the average fox news watcher. Who I saw as fully expressing themselves and who had love in their life, who had the support, who even had respect, who made a lot of money.
This belief creeps back in, it's not something that is worked through and then gone forever. But I know it well and I know how to quickly re-align.