You hear the whisper when you go to sleep at night 'burn it'
I knew it but I didn't want it to be true.
I tried to pretend it was not necessary. I tried to convince myself that I could make it work because of how safe & perfect it all seemed.
But the thing with living life, and being activated by life, being totally in play with life...you have to make the ultimate sacrifice to really be in it.
Otherwise, it's a half baked version.
What do you know you have to cut off but cannot even fathom to whisper it to yourself? Because it feels like your lifeline. You'd be nothing without it.
It matters so much to you, because it's warm, it's what you know, and there is actually nothing 'wrong' with it but you know it's not 'right'.
People even say you're lucky to have it.
If you let it go of it you worry that nothing even close to its greatness may come into your sphere.
But you know, like you know, like you know, that to fly, that to be in your own game of life, that to really taste it all you have to let it go.
You hear the whisper when you go to sleep at night, you hear it as you look to the sky, you hear it as you dress in the morning. It haunts you, this knowing.
But it matters so much to you, why would the knowing tell you to let it go?
God it pisses you off, why can't you want what you want to want?
So you contort yourself to fit the mould so you can keep it around, so you can feel safe, secure.
But the more you hold onto it, the more numb you make yourself to drown out the increased agitation & restlessness.
You look to others and think 'why can't I be content like them? why can't I be happy with what I have?'
You squirm as you squish at that part of you that wants to burn it all down.
That part that wants ultimate freedom.
That knows greatness is in the unknown, is outside of the contracts, outside of walls.
The ultimate sacrifice is letting go of the container, of the contracts, of the 'this is the best it will get'
Most people think they have chosen their lives, but they have not.
They have been asleep, letting the movie script direct them, carring them on autopilot, while their soul wonders when they will wake up.
Most have moments when they wake up, but they are not willing to walk out of the game they've been scripted into, they'd rather go back to sleep. I don't blame them, it's fucking terrifying.
But you will see that when you let go, you really start to play the game you choose.
And the entire time you had nothing to lose.
The more you release the better it gets, and the better it gets.
That greatness, beauty, flavours and wealth of measures you could never imagine is now available to you, not as an external contrast, but as a mirror to the internal world.
Imagine feeling turned on by life, constantly. Not the excitable 'I-just-came-in-my-sock' naive child kind of turn-on, but the silent graceful magnetism to life.
Because when you make the ultimate sacrifice, you see there is nothing to sacrifice.