You're too much
Have you ever been told you're too much? Too bossy. Too forthright. Too focused. Too sharp. So you pull back, waiting to be invited to speak, waiting for your turn, and then filter so you don't offend? You become a chameleon to please others, to agree with them. Carnegie would say- be a great listener, agree with others, don't make them feel that they are wrong. Yes this is true if you're in the business of managing people, but I'm in the business of speaking & living my truth. This way of being is incredibly passive. This is what we are taught at school, sit there, listen, be quiet & take everything you are taught as the truth. This is what creates a great 'yes sir' civilisation. But it doesn't do much to fuel the great thinker within. That creativity part of your soul that sees different perspectives. There was an extremely popular Russian series of books called Anastasia. A novel mixed with a recipe for life. Based on the teachings of an extraordinary woman who lives on the land in a forrest. One of the teachings is something like..... 'let children see the stars for themselves without being told the names of the constellations, let them connect to the universe with their souls instead of labels, they will know much more this way' When we choose to meet the word actively, to co-collaborate, rather than to be washed away in the path of least resistance, we get to feel into and play with the corners of what we are taught and who we think we need to be. We see that in these corners there is another tunnel with more space. That in this tunnel we meet even more of ourselves, surprising ourself at our extraordinariness. That by meeting more of ourselves and being active we know more of the world. Not because we were told, but because we experienced. When I was a child my Dad and I would go cross country skiing together. One afternoon after skiing we ended up at the downhill slopes. I had never been on the downhill slopes before because we never paid for the chair lift. I had this urge to just fly down the hill, so I unclipped my cross country skis and carried them up the hill as everyone else got on the chair lift. I must have been about 6. When I got to the top I was afraid, I had never been on a slope this steep before. I noticed that everyone else skis looked very different to mine. I started to listen to the reasons why I shouldn't do it. But I when I thought about the alternative- walking all the way down the hill I clipped my skis back on. And I just went for it..... I fell pretty much straight away and tumbled down the hill and got a bloody nose. There was this moment when I got to the bottom of the hill and Dad ran to check that I was ok, I was like ok 'I can cry and decide not to do it again and everyone would understand or..... I can go back up and try again'. I unclipped my skis and walked back up the hill. I cannot remember if I made it down without falling, I probably fell again, but what I do remember was my heart beaming because I had chosen to continue on and knock down an inner wall. The wall where normally I would have said 'ok this is too much.... this is enough' I had just chosen to move through, surprising myself of how much more space I had and how much I could actually not only handle but enjoy- if I chose to. Only you get to decide if it's too much if you're being too much if life is all too much. But know that the walls of 'too much' can always be moved, there is always a little more space for you. You are not a house made of walls, you're infinite space. We only build the walls of 'who we are' because it feels safe and through duality is how we experience ourselves but..... we have the tools to renovate and it gets to be fun! PS- Wolf Pack is open for enrollment again, whoop whoop. We have a super special deal going for 12 months of mentorship in the group. Find out more here.